we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize