Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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