Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
