i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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