i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
