I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
