Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
