I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This is my gift to your gina
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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