i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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