i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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