WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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