did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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