Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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