I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
