Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
