Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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