one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im holly from the hills drunk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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