I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize