My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
