After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
