If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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