just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
