We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
