i think my tv is drunk
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
