If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
