Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
