I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize