No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
