I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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