I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
