no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
