I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
