last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
