My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
