We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
