matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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