it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
