Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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