I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Randomize
