i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
