Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
