There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
