Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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