Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
a search helicopter?!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
