she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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