he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
