Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
