I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
