Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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