I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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