As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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