Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we're making bets on your personal life
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
