DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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