What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
