I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
