A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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