and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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