Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
