all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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