I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
COCAINE IS GR8
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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