So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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