shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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