***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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