im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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