she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
