i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have aggressive nipples.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
