I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
